My Boys or My God

January 23, 2011

“Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?”(1 Samuel 2:29b)

Preacher kids are expected to be the best kids. I suppose this high expectation comes from folks in the pews that see their pastor in his official role. He is seen preaching from an elevated pulpit, praying with uplifted arms and hands, leading worship, visiting the sick, blessing infants, marrying couples, burying the dead, and blessing meals. After seeing all this for long periods of time, they just concluded that his children had to be little angels. What a huge error in judgment. Some preacher kids are worse than anybody’s children are.

Elaine and I have been blessed with two beautiful and wonderful daughters. Eli, the priest, however, had two very bad boys: Hophni and Phinehas. To make it easier to pronounce their names I’ll call them H & P, like Hewlett Packard. It is hard to believe what we read about these boys. Both are priests just like their dad. Both worship in the Lord’s house. However, they seem to have been doing everything but worshipping and honoring God. The charge against these boys is found in two places in this chapter:

1)      Chapter 2: 12-17

These boys took the sacrifice that the people brought to the temple. They robbed God of the offering the folks hoped would be used to obtain forgiveness of their sins. They had no regard for God.

2)      Chapter 2: 2

Also, these boys were sleeping with the ushers, my view of what they were doing to the women at the entrance of the Temple. They had established a brothel within the confines of the Temple.

God confronted Eli about his sons’ conduct. God sent a man to Eli whom we don’t know where he came from or who he was. He told Eli that God had a major problem with his boys and with him. The complaint against Eli was he gave greater honor to his boys than to God. These are God’s words relayed to Eli by this unknown man of God:

“Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?”(1 Samuel 2:29b)

He permitted his boys to get away with some awful things. They seem to have been running loose and wild.

There are lessons about raising a family in this story that compel my attention. First, there appears to be a lesson about parental choice. Eli obviously had a choice to honor God more than his boys. However, he chose the latter. It is not clear whether Eli was benefitting from the meat offerings his boys were taking from the servant at the Temple, but it is clear that God would not tolerate Eli or his boys’ behavior and conduct.

God’s compensation for the service of these boys was a portion of the meat the Israelites brought to the Temple to atone for their sins. These boys wanted more than the portion they were granted by God. They wanted the portion God was giving them and a portion of what was being set aside by the people for God. Though God gave Eli’s sons jobs for life to serve in the Temple, they failed to honor God appropriately.

Parents have an opportunity to do what is right. They get to make choices within the confines of their home. I am reminded of their power to make choices. A few weeks ago, the U.S. House of Representatives elected officials chose to read aloud the Ten Commandments. Americans saw them take turns reading this document. It was a powerful example of how a group of people used their choice to send a message they felt our country needed to hear and be reminded. Parents can do likewise in their homes. They can establish godly honor in their homes that will clearly send a message to their children that they honor God. Engaging in meaningful talks with your children about morals using the Bible, as your guide is one way you can show that you honor God. For example, parents could use the Ten Commandments to talk about moral subjects. To read the Bible and to spell out clearly that God gave these commands to mankind to guide their conduct and behavior would be parents’ choice regarding how to honor of God in their homes. Though parents may use other materials that their children may bring home from the classroom, the use of the Bible may be their key source of information for such subjects. My point is parents have a choice about how they choose to honor God. 

Second, there seems to be a lesson that lack of parental discipline can have devastating consequences. It appears that Eli disciplined H & P, but a closer look reveals otherwise. For example, the verbal reprimand he gave them consisted of these words:

So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. ²⁴ No, my sons; the report I hear spreading among the LORD’s people is not good. ²⁵ If one person sins against another, God[d] may mediate for the offender; but if anyone sins against the LORD, who will intercede for them?” His sons, however, did not listen to their father’s rebuke, for it was the LORD’s will to put them to death. (1 Samuel 2:23-25)

These words contain a message of discipline but no real discipline. These words remind me of what children use to say about parents scolding them about something: “Mom is not going to do anything! We can keep doing what we are doing.” Mom speaks loudly, but she doesn’t stop the unwanted behavior. In the case of Eli, he spoke disapproving words to his sons, but he didn’t stop them. He had the opportunity to fire them from their life-appointed positions as priests in the Temple. He could have put them on the unemployment lines without any unemployment benefits. In other words, Eli had the ability to stop them. That action would have been real discipline.

Refusing to discipline his sons resulted in God taking the priesthood away from his family. In fact, God did more. He actually canceled his promise to let Eli’s priestly family minister for life. He also sentenced that any family members that entered the priesthood after this time would experience ongoing distress and their life span would be shortened from the established three score and ten (Psalm 90:10, assuming that was the case then as it is now) so that his family members would now die in the prime of their life. Further, God announced through this unknown man of God that Eli would get a sign informing him that H & P would die on the same day. These were devastating consequences! God stopped these boys and punished their father.

That’s a powerful lesson. It compels our attention. Lack of parental discipline can be very costly to the entire family and to society. In fact, lack of parental discipline may very well be the root cause of the overwhelming problems in society today.

Third, and finally, there appears to be a lesson about parental opportunity. Eli had opportunities to fix the problems with H and P. The first opportunity was when he heard from the people of God about his sons’ wicked deeds. Here is what he says:

“I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours.” (1 Samuel 2: 23b)

It’s not clear if these godly people were complaining directly to his sons, but it is clear that they were keeping Eli, the priestly dad and head of the priesthood informed. That was his one opportunity.

Also, he had the opportunity to fix their problems when the unknown man of God visited him and informed him of God’s penalty for his boys’ wicked deeds. I believe he still had an opportunity to fix the problems because God is a merciful God. 

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14)

That was his opportunity to repent. Repentance means change. It means you choose to make a change in your life.

Eli had his opportunities to fix problems within his family, and you have those opportunities too. You can start today to make changes. You can apply these lessons about raising your family from this incident. You can do something different with what you have heard today for your family. Why don’t you do some soul searching about what’s happening in your home? Why not ask yourself some hard questions about your parenting. Are you exercising your parental options? You have the option to honor God as you raise your sons and daughters. You are the head of your home. God gave you that position. You are responsible for applying discipline in your home in an effective way. You have to decide. One sure way to check the effectiveness of your discipline is whether it is resulting in changed behavior. Are you embracing your opportunities to change what is not working? You can change anytime. You can start on a new road in how you are honoring God in your home. You can be the judge if you are honoring your children more than you are honoring God. Amen.